|Does the internet really need another satirical news site?|
|Yes! Some people think that the Web has too much bad satire. We think it doesn't have enough. That's why we're expanding our efforts to bring you satire in as many ways as possible. We're currently working on these projects:
You see, here at Confusion Road, our mission is to 'fill the satirical gap' by making fun of current events, politicians, celebrities, and even ordinary Americans. If there's anyone else out there doing that, we'd sure like to know about it.
- Confusion Road Commemorative Plate
- Confusion Road Pyramid Scheme
- Confusion Road Blimp
- Confusion Road Sports Beverage
- Confusion Road Cheerleading Squad
|What does satire mean to you?|
|Many people consider satire to be one of the most profound and influential forms of expression. At its best, satire allows an author with a deep social conscience to use his acerbic wit and insightful observations to illustrate the absurdity and human folly that abound in our society.|
For us, though, it's just a way to kill time.
|Is your "E-mail this article" feature some kind of sneaky way of collecting E-mail addresses so you can sell them to spammers and they can send me fifty million goddamn messages offering me penis enlargement?|
|How come your stupid E-mail features don't work?|
|When you use the "E-mail This Article" feature, sometimes the message won't get through because it gets caught by spam filters. Same problem with the subscription feature. If your E-mail program lets you adjust the way it filters spam, you can set it to allow messages from "confusionroad.com" and that may fix the problem.|
Sometimes, though, the messages are filtered as spam by your ISP, so changing your E-mail settings won't help.
Anyway, we're aware of the problem and we have top men working on it right now.
|How do I know if I would enjoy Confusion Road, without going through the trouble of actually reading the articles?|
|That's easy. Just ask yourself these questions:|
If you answered "Yes" to all these questions, then Confusion Road might be for you!
- Are you reasonably open-minded and well-read?
- Do you enjoy satirical Web sites such as the Onion and...the Onion?
- Do you have fairly low standards for entertainment?
|What makes you different from the other satirical web sites out there?|
|Other satirical web sites make a crucial mistake: they try to be just like the Onion, and they fail. Here at Confusion Road, we try to be just like the Onion - and succeed!|
|Does Confusion Road have a political agenda?|
|Yes. We are anti-gay, pro-lesbian, anti-clone, pro-death, anti-choice, pro-vitamin, anti-aircraft, pro-valone,
anti-septic, pro-creation, anti-climax, and pro-phylactic. We're for the war, but against the troops. But most of
all, we are pro-Ashcroft. We can't get enough of that guy.|
|Your Web site is an absolute disgrace. How can you produce something so profane and offensive?|
|Who are you, anyway, and how can I contact you?|
|Who wants to know?|
|I'm asking the questions here.|
|Oh. Sorry. I don't give out my name on the Internet, but if you want to contact me, you can write to me at email@example.com.|
|Who is responsible for the design and layout of your Web site (the only thing about it that doesn't suck)?|
|That would be K-Law, the same guy who created MC Hawking's Crib. I hate you.|
|Has Confusion Road been successful?|
|Yes. Our 30-story Manhattan office building boasts an indoor golf course, hot tubs, and an aquarium filled with Japanese fighting fish (restocked daily). On every floor we have a vat filled with hundred dollar bills that employees can take from at will (we call this "petty cash"). Our thousands of writers receive exorbitant salaries and each has their own full-time masseuse. They all are Pulitzer Prize winners and get laid frequently. In many countries, Confusion Road is worshipped with godlike reverence.|
|Confusion Road has no advertisements, sponsors or paid content. As far as I can tell, each hit gains you exactly zero dollars. How do make enough income to maintain the site?|
|Confusion Road is the best Web site ever. I'm amazed at the humor, wit, wisdom and profundity. How do you do it?|